Tainted

Tainted:

To affect with or as if with a disease.

To affect with decay or putrefaction; spoil. See Synonyms at contaminate.

To corrupt morally.

To affect with a tinge of something reprehensible

Well, I've been thinking about doing this post all day. It's really nice to look forward to doing this. All I could think about at work was what I was gonna put on here. 

Speaking of work, I really do love my job. As much as a dread waking up every morning, when I get to work I enjoy it. I listen to music for at least 6 hours a day. And I mean really listen to it, break it down, enjoy every note. I'm starting to get sick of my tunes though, I need to get some more on my iPod.

Ummm, so I'm feeling lonely still. There's still just a little bit of pain when I think about the girl in the previous entry, but relief washes over me and totally outdoes the sadness, so I'm glad. Also haven't been drinking at all, so my head feels so clear after two months of girl drama and getting hammered WAY to often.

So, I figured I should give some honorable mentions to some people who have helped me out through this shit, and are the reason I'm not a wreck.

First off, Nikki Newlove. Noone here will know her but I will elaborate a bit on our friendship. We have never met in person. We met on World of Warcraft about 5 or 6 years ago shortly after I started my 2 year solitude/WoW binge. Of course it was all talk about the game until we talked more. We eventually got into talking about personal things, friendly flirting, ect. Now we chat on MSN all the time, and I consider her one of my most trusted friends. It's good to have someone who doesn't know anything about your life, and is willing to listen to all your problems and sound genuinely interested. And she tells me all hers. Any girl troubles I have, I know she will give me an honest answer and she has helped me through sooo much crap and sad times. Not to mention she is pretty much my dream girl. She plays WoW for one thing, rips it up on guitar, introduced me to Bullet for my Valentine (now one of my favorite bands) and also showed me Twilight. She is open-minded. supportive, and over all just a good honest person. I LOVE YOU FALL! :P

Next would be Bailey. Alot of people I know seem to have some personal fueds with her, and expect me to base my judgement of her on those facts, which I find very unfair. She has helped me more than anyone in the last two months, and also, we have never really spoken a word to eachother. No matter how much she disagree's with me, she has always supported my decisions, put up with my late night drunken calls, and all around been a true friend to me. It means alot, and I will always be a close friend to her. Thanks!

I also have to give a small mention to you Skylar (your the only one of the 3 here that will actually read this). Not that she has helped me with any of my personal problems so far, but having someone I can have an intelligent conversation with is a true blessing these days. It's rare that I can find someone like that, especially being so young. Someone I can tell my opinion, without worrying about being attacked, but simply just respecting what I have to say, and giving me hers. Also finding someone that seems so creative. Honestly your pieces are the highlight of my day. You are honestly a gem waiting to be discovered by the right group of people. I can see us being good friends in the future. 

Amazing that all these people I haven't spoken more than a word to face to face, but I feel have had a good or large impact on my life.

Now....KORRI! Omg I can't believe she is leaving me in 1 WEEK! It seems like it is coming way too fast.  She has been one or maybe THE closest friend of mine since grade 8, and I can't even begin to remember all the amazing times I have had with her. I feel like I should have spent ALOT more time with her in the last few years, but I know that things between us will never cease. She is my life-long friend. She is creative, open-minded, non-judgemental, has a wonderful taste in ANYTHING and is just a beautiful and amazing person. I AM GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH! Now I have no reason to procrastinate going to the coast. We have lots of time and friendship ahead of us Korri, and I can't wait to see what you do with your life.  Anyways, I'm getting too sad, I just need to enjoy the last days your here!

Okay so enough about my love for people, which seems to just get larger by the minute (thankfully!), I am gonna end this with a series of quotes but first, a little tangent.

Christina Aguilera. Now please bear with me here as I'm sure that name turned most of you away. I listened to her record "Back to Basics" after a long while today, and I had almost forgot about how amazing it was, and how emotional it made me. I was almost brought to tears during "Mother".  It reminded me why I love music so much. That one song, or that one note that just puts an amazing or horrible or sad or angry feeling all throughout your body. Like that single guitar note after the bridge in "Killer Queen", or the solo for "Shine on you Crazy Diamond" by Floyd. It's one of the main reasons I play music. To make people feel like that. On a slightly different topic, it drives me fucking INSANE how critics are so hard on her for her showing off her body. When the "Dirty" video came out, everyone just accused her of selling her body and image. She fired her manager right before Stripped for trying to control her music career, and has stayed true to what she does the whole time. She believes in being secure with your body. Easy for her to say right? Being so toned, and having a very nice body.  But if you listen to the previous mentioned record, you'll understand how she feels about her whole career, and it astounds me the shit she took for it.

So before I end with some quotes by her, fromm her new record(quite a few actually, as I couldn't choose) please do me a huge favor.

Listen to this song by her. Bear through it if you hate her. And don't just listen, hear it. Crank it up, put the headphones on, forget facebook or finishing this blog. Just listen, read the lyrics. This is why I love music. This is why people love it. This is what drives me to listen, and to play, and to write and to share. This is also why I LOVE Christina so much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V61_dDzOps

Anyways, I'll end with some quotes which hit me strongly on the record, mainy about empowering woman oddly enough. Once again, hope I didn't bore anyone, or make anyone uncomfortable with my honest words. To all those I didn't mention, I love you too! :P

"Why is a woman's sexuality
Always under so much scrutiny?
Why can't she do exactly as she please
Without being called a million things?" Still Dirrty (Back to Basics)

"There's some women out there who talk and stare
Who never seem to let down their hair
Like to past judgement, but they're just scared
And don't know what they're missing, so they better beware" Still Dirrty (Back to Basics)

"I pay no mind to the negative kind
cause it's just no way to be
i don't stop to please someone else you see
Gonna live my life for me" Here to Stay (Back to Basics)