First Entry - A Madness Shared by Two

Folie à Deux :A condition in which symptoms of a mental disorder, such as the same delusional beliefs or ideas, occur simultaneously in two individuals who share a close relationship or association.

So, this is my fist blog entry ever, as the title explains. Title taken from the new Fall Out Boy CD. I assume, from the song lyrics, that it is a reference to two people in love, but that is just speculation.

Of course, this blog won't have much about relationships in it, save this first post perhaps.

Anyways, so why have I decided to start a blog after so long of neglecting it? Well, at first I wasn't keen on blogging in general, for some unknown reason I can't remember. And secondly, because I didn't feel I was doing anything worthy of writing about. But after reading a few of my friends, it seems like an amazing way to let out anger, sadness, or whatever other thoughts that drift around in our brains.  But this seems like something that would be healthy for my peace of mind, and hey, maybe someone will enjoy reading it! 

So I'll most likely be starting these out with an update of what the band is doing, as that is my first priority in life at the moment, and has been greatly fufilling for me.

Things are going great with the band. After about 6 months of writing, we have shows lined up ALL summer. We played our first show at Copper City, and couldn't be happier. Packed the bar, free drinks, and got paid on top. So overall a success.  It looks like this is gonna keep up for a while, so I'm happy. I broke a cymbal during the first song, so I gotta find 300 bucks before our next gig, as it was a vital one. Other than that it's looking up, and I'll keep ya updated on show's.

So now to the relationship part, or lack thereof. It's amazing I have been holding on to this for so many months, when deep down I knew it wasn't healthy for me. I mean, after being single for so long,  loneliness takes the best of you and you will put up with alot of shit to feel some companionship. And the sex might have had something to do with it of course. But I think I've finally realized that I'm better off without this person, as she wasn't for me. I knew it the whole time too, and am suprised I let myself get so torn and hurt over it. Live and learn I suppose. I took alot from all the drama that happened during it all, and will never have regrets.  I believe strongly in never having regrets for anything. I have done some stupid things but I think something can be taken from each one.  I won't go into this too much, as I don't want to bore anyone about girls, but yeah, that's my love life at the moment.

Okay, so the person who actually inspired me to start writing this blog said something I have been thinking about for a long time now on one of her recent blogs. She talks about how noone wants to talk about anything that is at all interesting. Talks are mostly revolved around who is fucking who, who was fighting at the bar this weekend, or who got arrested for whatever. I find it very upsetting. I mean, I realize that in such a small town with no culture that I should'nt hope for much, it just suprises me.  Maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong people, who are mostly younger than me. It just seems that I was having more productives talks back in high school than I am now, as a 20 year old. I think I need to leave this town and go meet some people. She also mentions about people putting guards around themselves and how noone is willing to open up. I consider myself the most honest and open person I know, which is also upsetting. There are only a very few select people I feel I can be totally honest with and have them do the same back. People are SO afraid of being judged harshly, they will do anything to hide who they are. I suppose when your in a world with such high expectations that we are, it gets built into you. Oh well. I could keep going on about this for hours but once again, I don't want to bore you.

I'll stop here...there's alot more on my mind, but I don't want it to be too long and painful for anyone to bear through, if they do read it at all.

So yeah, thanks for reading, and I'll be updating at least once a day I'm sure, as I have alot going on.

And starting now, I'm gonna end each entry with a quote, probably from one of my many favorite musicians. It may or may not have something to do with the post, and in this case, it does.

"I'm just a notch in your bed post, but your just a line in a song" -Fall Out Boy