Change

Change:

1. to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion; to change the course of history.

2. to transform or convert (usually fol. by into): The witch changed the prince into a toad. 

3. to substitute another or others for; exchange for something else, usually of the same kind: She changed her shoes when she got home from the office. 
4. to give and take reciprocally; interchange: to change places with someone. 
5. to transfer from one (conveyance) to another: You'll have to change planes in Chicago. 

6. to give or get smaller money in exchange for: to change a five-dollar bill.

OH MY GOD, I am moving to Vancouver! Like...ACTUALLY doing it after so many years of talking about it. I'm SO damn excited, and nervous, and scared, and curious. It's a great feeling. Korri gave me an e-mail to someone she knows who is looking for a roomate and I e-mailed her and she sent me a pic of the house and some more info( See above!). I LOVE IT! It looks very used, and "homely". Exactly what I was looking for. It's really close to downtown and science world.

SO...May 9th and I am GONE! I'm gonna load up my car with all my essentials, and start driving. I'm gonna leave about 3AM so I get to Van at about 1 or so, assuming my car doesn't explode or something.

Honestly, I'm not really gonna miss many people here. Maybe it will kick in closer to when I leave. I mean, I will miss my dad and my brother more than anything, but friend-wise, I don't feel like I have any real CLOSE friends. I'm gonna miss Ryan the most I think, and Olivia too. That guy is one of the nicest guys I know and all the good times have been with him pretty much. But all my lovely, brilliant high-school friends that I grew with are in Van or the island, so I don't think I will feel lonely at all.

Anyways, still more than a month to go, so I'll keep you guy posted on how things are going, and to those who are in Van reading this, I will see you soon!!! :P

"Everything in Moderation, even World of Warcraft" Blizzard tip on the WoW loading screen,( Random I know, I'm outta ideas.")

Creativity

Creativity:

1. the state or quality of being creative.
2. the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination: the need for creativity in modern industry; creativity in the performing arts. 
3. the process by which one utilizes creative ability: Extensive reading stimulated his creativity.

So the show at the Whitehouse went well.

Until the cops showed up.

Was a good set, people were loving it. Busted out my best drum solo yet. But apparently, as rumor has it, that some kid called his dad( a cop), and said he was out partying at the Whitehouse with his friends. Great plan, man. Anyways, they came and ID'ed everyone, shut the bar down, blah blah. I guess they got a 25,000 dollar fine or something. They aren't shut down for good at least. I grew up in that bar, hah. So all the minors and I took the slightly long trek up to my house, which was an event in itself. Very fun. We then partied at my house ALL night. I didn't go to bed till about 6 in the morning, apparently slept with Krissta, as having a friend sleep in your bed automatically implies sex was involved, which was not the case. Woke up about an hour later and had a very hazy day at work. Amazing how fast word travels. I got to work and the whole place was talking about what happened. I think I've been pin-pointed as the cause of the whole ordeal. They seem to think it's my responsibility to not have my friends, and the bands friends and thier friends, to not come to our shows. Last time I checked it was the bar staff that are supposed to be keeping the minors out. 

So that was all good fun.

I think I feel I'm at the point where I could part ways with the band if I were to move. I was heavily considering it, but I realized I have WAY to much going on this summer to pull it off. I have a Paramore/No Doubt concert to go to, about 3 days from Comic-Con in San Diego, where I will be staying for at least 7 days. Plus the skate competition here the weekend after. Considering the debt I'm in, I don't see moving being a very realistic option at the moment. End of summer though, no matter what happens, I will be out of this town.

On a slightly related note, I've been second guessing myself alot on where my true passion lies. I honestly think it may lie in game design. I've been listening to alot of the soundtracks from all my SNES games. Namely Secret of Mana and Chrono Trigger, both from 1995 and still considered two of the greatest RPG's of all time, if not greatest games. 

Yay! Time for my rant on videogames. Been a long time coming. So I was watching some video's on IGN.com ( a popular review website of games). They did a special article on the top 100 game developers, and they had some video's of people asking some of them questions. One was asking the great question of "Are videogames art?."

"Art is not a self-defining business" One dev said. They make some very interesting points on that. Video games are still a very young medium. Yet they are the largest and most profitable entertainment medium around. They mention that people who play the games obviously consider them an art form.  But people who don't still see them as a toy, as something for children that rots your brain, blah blah. They are to me, the most complex and creative forms of expression. They are a mix of everything people love. Writing, animation, drawing, music, acting. Not to mention things like level design and gameplay.

How could someone deny that as art? I mean, of course negative things can revolve around it, just like anything. I want to be a part of that. I want to be involved in making that game that will bring a tear to your eye, make you scream in suspense, make you laugh your ass of with your friends. You can feel so much more invloved when playing games. You take a beautiful peice of art, and you make your experience your own, everytime. Just like you could listen to song and have it mean a whole different thing one time then another. Even more so with games, as the actual experience can be different everytime. Take different paths, good vs bad, ect. It is genius, and I really wish I could put it into words how beautiful and memorable they are in my life. No doubt, I've abused my love for it with some of them, appreciating them to the point of boredom and seclusion from my friends, which actually benefitted me in the end( something me and a friend talked about the other day that I was gonna get into here but may save it). But when you play something like the above mentioned games and take it all in. The romance, the betrayal, the sounds, the hidden things. When you hear that one song that will always stay with you, and every time will give you a unique feeling that you don't associate with anything else.

That is art to me.

SO....I really need to get my ass back to school. The video game industry is one of the hardest to get into. It's becoming alot easier with the concept of free gaming on the internet, and services such as Xbox live arcade, but you need a really unique idea. Something that has never been done before, or greatly improve upon an idea and make it your own. I'm at a late start. Having an education greatly helps your chances, although not nessicary. I also think going to an art school would be a great experience.

I'm gonna stop here as I may be boring someone. 

Also, I think I am gonna dread my hair. I have been thinking about doing it for a few years, but haven't had the motivation to go through with it. It seems like a whole journey in itself, as Skylar mentioned on her blog. I also feel it will better represent my personality and who I am. I don't think I have met anyone who has liked the idea of me getting dreads, but people's personal opinion of my looks are the last thing that concerns me. Thing is, I WANT THEM NOW. I don't think my damn hair is long enough, and when it's this length it grows SO damn slow. I guess I could deal with some short dreads for a while, so I don't know. I'm gonna look into it alot more, but it IS gonna happen soon. OH, and I am gonna couple these dreads and the whole experience with quitting smoking!!! I need to prepare for it heavily, as I enjoy smoking WAY to much, but this might help.

OFF TO BED for me though....I'm still lacking sleep from that party on Friday.

Sleep well everyone!

Quote today is from a note on Taylor Dakin's facebook, which just automatically stuck with me the moment I read it. 

"Thier is no future beyond the decision I am yet to make" Taylor Dakin

Fail

Fail:

1. to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved: The experiment failed because of poor planning. 
2. to receive less than the passing grade or mark in an examination, class, or course of study: He failed in history. 
3. to be or become deficient or lacking; be insufficient or absent; fall short: Our supplies failed. 
4. to dwindle, pass, or die away: The flowers failed for lack of rain. 
5. to lose strength or vigor; become weak: His health failed after the operation. 
6. to become unable to meet or pay debts or business obligations; become insolvent or bankrupt.
7. (of a building member, structure, machine part, etc.) to break, bend, crush, or be otherwise destroyed or made useless because of an excessive load.
8. to stop functioning or operating

So the show was....unsuccessful. That's being fairly generous, as I think "a fucking disaster" is a more fitting description. It wasn't too bad that only about 16 tickets got sold so NOONE was there, but the sound...ugh. Everything was fine for sound check, we do our intro, and when we all kick in....nothing but screaming feedback. And then 20 mins of trying to get Mike's vocal mic working. This continued through-out the entire show. I mean, I always play like it's my last show, so I rocked out pretty hard, but yeah...from now on....bar shows only, and we do our own damn sound. Not saying it was really the sound guy's fault, things were just alot more complicated then they needed to be. Chaos thoery at it's finest. The other bands were....well. I really loved the The Rabid Whole. Loved everything about them. Bought thier CD and they are awesome. Met some of the band members and they were fairly nice, but for the most part, all the other band members seemed like quite the arrogant group of individuals. Very un-friendly. 

It WAS a very fun time though. We partied and had lots of fun moshing and listening to the other bands. Let's just say it not my WORST show ever. Maybe second worse though, IDK.

Oh right....spot for The Rabid Whole....http://www.myspace.com/therabidwhole

Check them out.

As for other things going on, I need a damn break from jamming. I need some personal time to work on my own creative projects. When spring break hits, Jon is off to Kelowna for a week, so that will be nice. I'm gonna start tracking beats with my Roland kit. Me and Lucas have been talking about doing some collab work. I've never "met" the guy (more or less introduced through Skylar via facebook, hah) but he seems really down for laying some guitar over my beats. I like his style from what I have heard, and he seems to enjoy mine. It will be nice to have a change for a bit. Something seperate and a little more personal writing-wise. I like the idea of a side-project from Infected (or "I partied with a pornstar", not sure if were keeping that or not".

Anyways, I am feeling a little nostalgic today and may delve into some Secret of Mana for the SNES to bring back lovely memories of my childhood( and it's also one of my FAVE games of all time, despite how technology has leapt since then).

Also hoping that my trip to Vancouver all works out, cause I need some cuty time BADLY. Korri time too...always makes me feel better. Quote today from....hhhhmmm.

"Self doubt and ego always a knife at the throat of success" -A grade 8 me

Projection

Project:

18. to extend or protrude beyond something else.
19. to use one's voice forcefully enough to be heard at a distance, as in a theater.
20. to produce a clear impression of one's thoughts, personality, role, etc., in an audience; communicate clearly and forcefully.
21. Psychology. to ascribe one's own feelings, thoughts, or attitudes to others.

Thank god a few days off work. I'm so damn sick and tired of being...sick and tired it's killing me. I need some serious sleep and relaxation. 

A little bit of what's going on at the moment.  Our show on Saturday is back on, as it was thought cancelled. But of course, Stephanie wouldn't let this happen and is fighting with everything she can to make sure it works out good. Anyways, I'm damn excited. I can only hope we will get a better turn out than previous attempts so we shall see. She says we need to secure music equipment for LSD. Apparently they need a whole 16 channel board and a full front end. You would think that a band that is on tour would have this stuff. I mean, we don't have the best equipment but enough to play this show and have it sound amazing. Not only that but she is expected to pay for it if they need a rental. Oh well, not outta my pocket. Cover is gonna be 10 dollars. I honestly think we would get a larger turnout with 5. I realize we have to pay LSD and all, but people in this town are honestly too cheap to come to a show for 10 bucks. They would rather buy a pack of smokes or get some beer. It's a little sad. Like damn, I would pay 10 bucks to go see ANY band at ANY venue. Better then sitting at home doing nothing on a Saturday night. 

Other than that, not much else going on. I really want to pick up a old record player from the pawn shop next time I go to cranbrook. Me and my bro have an un-opened vinyl of Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon". I plan to listen to the whole thing and possibly try to do some writing, as I haven't written creatively in years. Or maybe try and do some projecting. It's usually better to AP in silence, but I feel Floyd would be perfect for easing my mind for it. 

What else? I think I burnt out the windshield wiper motor in my car. Darn. It was raining when I got off work( YAY! Spring time) and I had to wipe off the window with my hoody. Thank fully it stopped shortly after or it would have been a tricky ride home.

Anyways, I might try to get some sleep before we go print off posters and spread them around for the show. Maybe put up a post later....I'm lost for quotes today though....hhhhmmmm.

This is from a picture Rio drew way back in the day in my book.

"One needn't think to comprehend the greatest powers of creativy"- Rio ( I think)

Dream

Dream:

1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.
2. the sleeping state in which this occurs.
3. an object seen in a dream.
4. an involuntary vision occurring to a person when awake.
5. a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie.
6. an aspiration; goal; aim: A trip to Europe is his dream. 
7. a wild or vain fancy.
8. something of an unreal beauty, charm, or excellence

Right...so...had a strange dream last night. Nothing too crazy or enlightening but sufficiently random. I honestly don't know how Taylor finds her self into my dreams all the time. I never see her and very rarely think about her on a daily basis. It's strange, I feel like I should have taken the chance to date her when the opportunity arose. Despite only being "together" for only a few short weeks, we just seemed to, I dunno....work.  I was always happy spending time with her. Our arguements were never screaming matches, usually they were very calm and honest, and about our partners we both had at the time, so nothing too serious. Anyways, she a strong girl and I'll never forget the short time we were hanging out.

Anyways, I remember being in a small little insurance office, that was like...run down and old. I recognized the worker as some native that I don't specifically know but I have seen him around town. Odd he found his way in there too. He said something about how it was really slow and offered us some drinks. Next thing I know were out back in a cheap wanna-be-playboy-mansion grotto and there were naked people everywhere, swimming and what not. Next thing I know it's me and Taylor making out, intensely. It was exactly how I remembered it, which was a plus. Something then interuppted us, which I don't remember, and then I woke up.

Not very interesting but it intrigued me for some reason so I figure I would write it down.

Now to the point of this post. So yesterday at work, I was deeply thinking more about how I lack the right sort of people in my life, as mentioned in previous posts. Also how I think I am ready to find a relationship that is fairly serious. Or maybe something casual that, if luck allows, will grow into something serious. Blah blah, was feeling lonely and lacking companionship and then I came to a realization. Or more of a thoery I suppose, as I could be totally wrong.

I think that reason that I have the group of friends like I do, may have something to do with the fact that how I present myself is not totally reflective of who I am as a person. I present myself as someone who loves anything mainstream, in love with pop music, hip-hop, videogames, hollywood, cars. I love the city and am in love with technology and where it's going. Now I never feel a moment where I am not being exactly who I am. Yet, there is so much that people don't see. My love for art, and history. The part of me that loves the forest, and nature. Dancing in the rain. How I could just listen to Jazz on vinyl for hours at a time. I feel like I have just come to supress that part of me out of habit and who I have surrounded myself with. It's still very much a part of me, and probably more who I am them anything. So now I have a problem. Do I change how I present myself in order to give people the right impression of who I am? I feel like I am already doing that, but yet, I'm unsatsfied with the people I hang around with now. What exactly is the reason I have the friends I do, and not more creative, mature, thought-provoking individuals? Maybe I am totally wrong here, but it's a pretty strong theory I think.

I also don't think I am practicing that part of me like I should be. I don't appreciate nature, or art, or music like I feel should. Maybe that would change how I go about things.

Honestly, I'm not sure, but this self-reflection has taught me quite alot about myself, and hopefully things change, as what is going on is boring the hell outta me.

SO....I was gonna go into some things that were actually going on right now, the band, a possible trip to Vancouver at the end of the month, but I'll leave it at this for now. I leave you with a verse from one of my favorite rap/rock groups, Rehab.

"You know, they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned 
So vengeful and mother earth has been done wrong 
And I think she's sick 
Yo, she's pukin up lava 
Her nerves tremble along fault lines ready to drop an entire city of filth 
that's been forced upon her 
We built these towers of Babel and feel remorse for nada 
The momma divorce the father 
The children are droppin blotter 
The rich get richer, poverty's hot under the collar 
Takin prayer outta schools and we're tryin to raise scholars 
Creationism vs. the theory of evolution 
Air, water, land, mind, body and soul pollution 
Kids steppin on land mines from wars we're all losin 
We're chasin false idols, erasing from our bibles the golden rule 
the youth are becoming more suicidal 
Who teaches them, you and I do 
No wonder they want to fight you 
Raised by hypocrites, you feel lied to." Graffiti the World   -Rehab