Rent is paid.

Holy shit. 

2 days and I'm gone from here for who knows how long. I've been feeling nervous about it, but now I'm excited. I mean, I'm roomies with Angela. That is so random and awesome. Exactly what I need. Money is really troubling me though. All my plans didn't work out so I had to borrow rent money from my Dad. Not to mention what I need to actually get down there and survive for a month. And then their is January's rent. Not sure if I'm gonna be able to get a pay cheque quick enough to make it. All you guys must worry about this constantly.  This is gonna be healthy for me.

Sadly, all my excitement and anticipation is drowned out by the fact that the rest of my life is a fucking disaster. I won't even get started on girls again. 2 more days and I'll be away from every single crazy bitch and every single beautiful girl I know and I won't have to ever deal with their nonsense. I can meet NEW ones and deal with THEIR nonsense. Awesome.

But really, my mom's in the hospital down in Oakland. I don't even know how I feel. She had a stroke, apparently can't speak and is not in very good condition. I'm worried, but at the same time maybe I'm in denial about the whole thing. Like I'm just assuming things will work out for the best. On top of that, if BC Medicare decides they don't want to help her, well, then she is really totally fucked. 

I don't know what to think anymore. The only thing I feel sure about is that this move is gonna be good. I have no idea if it is what I want right now, but it is gonna be good.

So I'm....happy?

I think so.

I am

going to toss myself into the city.

Here's to hoping all goes well.

Anticipation

Less than 2 weeks.

Holy god.

In a way, I can't be more excited. Getting out of here is the right thing to do, and whenever I question myself on this move I just remember that.  I need it.  I want it despite certain feelings I have about leaving. I'm really happy right now, which makes it a little tougher. I know I will be happy in Vancouver, but I also know their will be many lonely nights. Thankfully, I have a lot of friends down there and more seem to be going as the months roll on. I'm also find myself to be a fairly enjoyable person to be in the company of so meeting people won't be any sort of issue I'm sure.

Some stuff just bothers me. My grandparents are at an age where my time with them is running short. Having neglecting to spend time with them in the last few years is really hitting right now. What will I miss out on when I'm gone? What will everyone I know miss while I'm there? 

Besides all that though, this is gonna be fucking great. I'm made for the city. 

And Taylor tells me I'll be there just in time for Bass Hunter. Excited.

Fortunately, I am playing Warcraft again, which is my go to addiction when I'm upset or lonely. Some crazy shit has happened in the last few weeks, but hopping on vent and chatting with the guildies and all my old friends that are still going strong always alleviates the stress of my current problems. I can't begin to say how much I love that game. It is, in my opinion, the strongest representation of humanity. At it's finest. Even more than the "real world" because mostly everyone is themselves, depending on what you interpret that term as. It will get me through any rough times I have as it always does.

The city awaits...and I'm totally not ready. It will be grand.

P.S. 17january1956, who are you? Forgive me, but you commented on my California post and it's kept me curious ever since.