Sad when Social Networking Sites Start to Breed Almost Nothing but Hate

Yes, I mean you Facebook!

But I'm not gonna talk about that because, frankly, I don't have the energy for it.

Things are going....badly. 

I'm working almost no hours. I go in for my shift, it's slow, they send me home after an hour. Get 5 days off, then the same thing. Bastards.

I have a job interview next week so hopefully that goes well, and I can get some more cash rolling in.

But as of right now, and I doubt this is going to change, paying rent is virtually impossible. I have no idea what the fuck I am gonna do. 

I keep going over the positives and negatives of my situation. Or rather, why I want to stay and why I would like to go back home. Reasons prompting me to go back home I've pretty much discussed already.  Being lonely, bored. Having nothing change except paying a lot more than I should for where I live, and making a whole lot less money than where I previously was employed.

Reasons prompting me to stay. Well, the first thing is, I do love this city.  I love the energy, and the people, and the culture. I love being close to all my old friends. I love having SOMETHING be different. Those are the positive reasons.  I also feel this obligation to myself that if I left I would see it as a personal failure. Something that I usually wouldn't consider on making a decision for anything. I don't find pride to be a very important thing.  But it would be that way, though I'm sure not too heavily.  Another is the fact of how much money my Father has supplied me with.  He just bailed me out of rent, again, for this month.  Add that to my car plus the money he gave me when I left, it's about 3500 dollars or more. Probably a lot more.  Now I know he wouldn't hesitate for a second given the idea of me coming back. Might even prefer it. But I can't escape the fact that it's a lot of money He or I could have used for something else, whatever that may have been (Is it bad to start a sentence with "but"?). 

The whole mind set every seems to think I should have is that "It'll get better". But really, it's not going to any time soon.  Almost every single job I see requires some type of experience or qualification.  I should have got my schooling done.  I could have been more prepared.  And all the jobs that are returning my e-mails/calls tell me it's pretty much for the Olympic rush and that's probably all.  We will see.

Oh, and another thing on my staying list. Angela is really fucking awesome to live with. It is very convenient that I've been able to get a room mate I get along with. 

But still, I feel like I want to go home. Maybe just homesick, maybe just stressing.  I can't even afford to get to work tomorrow. And my fucking car is dead again, though I may be almost out of gas anyways.

Wonder if Angela has jumper cables?

Fuck.

ON THE PLUS SIDE!

I'm  going to Microsoft's Vancouver studio next Thursday for an hour long play test session.  Get to play some unreleased/early build games, and give feedback on my experience so they can assure quality. I'll make a whole post on that experience when it happen though.

Blargh. I'm not enjoying this.